Hi Richard

Nice to hear from you and to know you are all well.

Today we are back to the more mundane - a slightly saucy joke which I hope makes you chuckle - together with anyone else out there.

A elderly married couple are having a short break and stop off at a high class Lake District hotel.  After spending the night there they check out and discover that the bill is £600.  “This is ludicrous!” complains the husband.  “Three hundred pounds each for one night?”

“The price also includes the use of the hotel sauna, complementary drinks at the bar, and our car valet service”, replies the desk clerk.

“But we didn’t use the sauna”, says the husband.

“You could have used it if you had wanted to”, replies the clerk.

“And we didn’t have drinks at the bar!”, says the husband.

“But you could have done if you had wanted to”, replies the clerk.

“And we didn’t have our car valeted!”, protests the husband.

“But you could have done if you had wanted to”, replies the clerk.

“I give up!”, says the husband and writes a cheque.

“Excuse me”, says the clerk, but this cheque is only for £100.

“I know”,  says the husband, “but I’m charging you £500 for sleeping with my wife!”

“I didn’t sleep with your wife”,  says the clerk.

“No”, The elderly husband winked at his equally elderly wife.  ”But you could have done if you had wanted to!”

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